


I'm Creativity

by the_nerdiest_insanity



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders And Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders has Intrusive Thoughts, Deceit | Janus Sanders Has a Different Name, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Good Friend, Gen, Kid Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders And Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Pre-Canon, Tags Contain Spoilers, The Split, everyone has a different name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29688753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_nerdiest_insanity/pseuds/the_nerdiest_insanity
Summary: A look into young Thomas's mind and Creativity leading up to The Split
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & King Creativity | Romulus Sanders, King Creativity | Romulus Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	I'm Creativity

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! It's been awhile.
> 
> Sorry that I haven't been able to get much out lately. I've been starting dozens of works and been unable to fish them. I even finished this back in December, but haven't been able to publish it. 
> 
> But, I'm sure you don't want me to rant about that here. Onto the story!
> 
> *If you need help about who's who, they're all tagged in the end notes.*
> 
> ~Spoilers~  
> TW/CW: Janus warning (Though he's not called Janus or Deceit), Remus warning (though he's only in person at the end), sympathetic dark sides, arguing, intrusive thoughts, daydreaming, electrifying (brief mention), repression, feelings of inadequacy, stabbing, body horror, blood, graphic descriptions of eyes, torture mentions, pulling things off or out of a body, popping/squishing body parts, minor innuendos, scratching, knives, and begging

It started with a lesson and a headache.

Thomas was sitting in class like every other day while his sides went about their routine. 

Goodness, Curiosity, and Fear were paying attention to what the teacher was saying while Creativity was trying to distract Thomas with the million ideas he was coming up with. Helpfulness decided not to give any input today, saying they should just compromise before tuning out when they ignored him.

This time, Creativity won and Thomas began daydreaming. His mind wandered from topic to topic, jumping around with no solid connection between any of them.

“Thomas, what’re you drawing here?” his teacher asked, looking over his shoulder at the picture.

Thomas smiled up at her and said, “I’m electrifying my brother.” 

The teacher’s smile dimmed slightly, but being so young, he didn’t notice.

“Well, that’s certainly… creative--”

Creativity preened under the supposed praise.

“--but maybe we should try and keep those thoughts in our head, huh?”

Creativity froze. It felt like the whole Mind Place froze.

After what seemed like an eternity, Fear finally took over. “Oh, uh, okay,” Thomas stuttered out, looking away from the adult or the drawing. 

As the teacher walked away to talk to the next kid, the sides held their own little meeting.

“So…” Helpfulness started out, trying to end the awkward atmosphere.

“Uh, well, you heard what the teacher said Creativity. You’ve gotta keep that to yourself, okay?” Goodness said, taking the lead. Fear was nodding his head rapidly next to the other, afraid of what would happen if Thomas did something like that again.

“Yeah, ah, totally. I was just messing around. I’ll be good,” Creativity stated confidently. Or, at least he tried to sound confident. He had convinced everyone, except Helpfulness who saw right through it.

…

Creativity didn’t have another thought like that for about a month. Then, all of a sudden, _What would happen if you jammed your pencil through your hand?_

He shook his head rapidly and bit his tongue so hard he might have drawn blood. _Imagine opening your mouth and a waterfall of blood pours out._ He whimpers slightly, drawing the attention of the others.

“Are you okay, Creativity?” Helpfulness asked.

He went to open his mouth to answer before just smiling and nodding instead.

The rest accepted it and moved on while Helpfulness hesitates, yet ended up doing the same.

Creativity then dashed into his own room and sighed as he finally opened his mouth, gulping for air. Except he nearly immediately got a splitting headache through the center of his skull. He gripped his head, doubling over and trying to breath through the pain like Fear and Helpfulness taught him.

Thankfully, it only took a few seconds for everything to calm down.

As he stood and righted himself, something caught his eye in the mirror… his eyes!

One is now red and the other green.

Now, while out of the Mind Place, the sides look almost identical to Thomas, but in it, any and all slight differences are magnified and their looks become a little more _supernatural,_ for lack of a better word. 

One difference between them is that none of the sides actually have brown eyes. Helpfulness has one hazel and one gold eye, Curiosity’s looks like galaxies, Fear has one green and one purple, and Goodness has blue-green eyes.

Creativity’s eyes are typically a rainbow of colors that change slightly with his mood, but this looked different. Usually it was just the centers of the irises that would hold the color, yet these two colors consumed each eye.

_Maybe that’s what the pain was_ _,_ he thought.  _Maybe I was changing because of Thomas._

As Thomas got older and his perception of each side differed, so would they, like how Helpfulness was starting to get these little spots of shiny things on his skin.

This had never happened to Creativity, so perhaps it was supposed to hurt. He should ask the other side right now!

_You should pull one of those shiny things off for yourself._

...he’ll ask later.

…

Creativity had a few weeks of reprieve before the thoughts and headaches came back.

At least the others had liked his eyes.

_Pull them out._

No. 

_Then put the red one in green dye and the green one in red dye._

Stop. 

_Maybe when they come out, you’ll get a good pop or they’ll start squirting blood everywhere or--_

ENOUGH! 

**_Crack_ **

A sickening crack echoed throughout his room.

His face burned, hurting and lasting much longer than the headaches.

He felt something drip down his face and quickly wiped it away with his hand.

_What if blood is pouring out of every little pore in your face?_

He looked down at his hand and saw crimson staining it.

Quickly shutting his eyes, he took a deep breath. 

It’s nothing. It’s just tears. 

He opened his eyes to see the red liquid replaced with clear. He sighed in relief before he caught his mirror.

He saw a pit black void cracking in a zig-zag motion down the top of his forehead.

He blinked

_What if you saw the brain and blood vessels and stuff through that?_

He blinked again.

Stop it. 

He blinked one more time before covering the mirror.

…

“Nice crown, Creativity,” Goodness said as the side sat down at the breakfast table.

“Oh, uh, thanks Goody,” Creativity replied, adjusting the head piece once more so that it would hide the growing crack.

_Speaking of crack--_

“Would you be quiet?”

“What was that?” Curiosity asked across the table.

“Nothing!” Creativity answered far too quickly.

“‘Morning,” Helpfulness grumbled as he sleepily slid into his seat.

“Hey, Help. How are you doing today? Are they still bothering you?” Fear questioned from the far end of the table.

“I’m fine,” he hissed out, and Creativity could have sworn that the other actually hissed, before scratching lightly at the increasing shiny diamonds dotting his skin with his newly gloved hands.

“What’s with the gloves, Helpy?” Creativity asked.

“They feel better on my face, and it keeps me from scratching at it, too.”

He hummed in acknowledgement before his mind began wondering. The others were used to this and typically just let him go unless he was needed for something important. Yet lately… 

“Cre!” Helpfulness yelped as he snatched the knife Creativity was about to stab his arm with.

“I-I-I, uh, have an i-idea to _jerk_ \-  work on! Hehe, yep!” He stuttered as he sank out to his room.

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, Cre! Stupid, Re! Stupid! Idiot! Dumb! 

He groaned as he fell backwards onto his bed.

He had been doing so well in front of the other! Now he had to go and screw that up.

_These thoughts just keep popping up and you can’t stop them._

Yes, you can, Goodness and our teacher said you could. 

_But, it hurts to do it._

Well, it hurts them when you do it. 

_Then, how am I supposed to stop the thoughts?_

Just don’t think about it. 

_I can’t_

Yes, I can 

_No, I can’t_

Yes, you can! 

_I can’t!_

You can! 

**_Can’t_ **

**Can!**

“ **Ahh!** ” Creativity screeched as he fell to his knees in the middle of his room.

He felt his head tearing in two, splitting further and further down his face.

_No!_

Wait! 

_I can be good!_

_Yeah! We can be good! We promise, just please, don’t do this. We don’t want this. Don’t let us leave! Please. We’ll do anything. We’ll be quiet. We’ll compromise! Just ple--_

…

Helpfulness paced his room nervously, trying not to scratch at his new scales.

He had to lie to keep the others from finding out how bad his condition was getting, which only made the itching worse.

Then there was Creativity.

Why was he holding the butter knife like he was about to stab his arm?

And why did he flee so fast?

Helpfulness would have gone after him right away, but the others didn’t see what happened, so he lied to protect Creativity. He felt his hand gently attempting to scratch at his neck and pulled it away.

Since he’d lied, he had to then sit through breakfast like nothing was wrong. He was going to check up on the other afterwards, but Goodness asked him to help with dishes. And how could he say no to the other side?

So, it has been about two or three hours since Creativity left in a rush, and now Helpfulness doesn’t know what to do. 

Has it been too long to check on the other? Maybe someone else helped him. Does the other even want help? 

Woah. He was sounding like Fear.

He took a deep breath and decided that by checking on his friend, Creativity would either welcome it, or kindly reject him. Holding on to that thought, he left his room and headed to the other’s

Something looked odd about the door once Helpfulness reached it, but he ignored it since his friend would change his room up frequently. 

He knocked on the door and waited patiently for a reply.

Finding none, he knocked again, louder, in case his friend was listening to something.

Still getting nothing, he called, “Creativity, are you in there?”

“...yeah,” came a weak, shy reply.

The side’s voice didn’t sound quite right, but he focused on how pathetic the response was, assuming his fellow side was either in danger, or just got out of it. “I’m coming in!”

He opened the door to find, strangely, two sides, sitting on the carpet in the middle of the room.

They were wearing solid green and red sashes like Creativity. “Oh, they must have come from the Imagination,” he thought to himself since the other liked to think of himself as king there, he would make people like these two as princes or dukes in the kingdom.

Helpfulness knelt down to where the two were sitting. “Hello there. Do either of you know where Creativity is?”

  
The pair each cocked their head to the side before saying, in unison, “ _I’m Creativity._”

**Author's Note:**

> How was that?
> 
> If you need/needed help, Goodness is Patton, Curiosity is Logan, Fear is Virgil, and Helpfulness is Janus.
> 
> Also, the italics are Remus and the underlines are Roman.
> 
> I hope you liked this! It was pretty graphic and if there is anything I need to add in either tag, please let me know!
> 
> Anyways, I just want to thank you for reading! Please give me any and all sorts of feedback, positive or negative, I truly just want to improve my writing. Stay safe guys, gals, and non-binary pals!


End file.
